This History of Twin Bayous: Season Nine Introduction

Being a ghost is not easy. Until one actually becomes a ghost, one does not know exactly what it means to be a ghost. There is no user manual and every day is something new and different.

There are some things that most people would not think off. For example, Wendy told me that woohoo with a ghost was amazingly different than woohoo with a human. When I would ask her for details, she would blush and then she would change the subject.

There were other little things that I learned along the way and one day, about twelve years ago, something happened that was totally unexpected. The way in which it happened shocked and upsets some people and as for me I knew nothing of it.

Apparently ghosts sometimes go into hibernation. One day they just disappear and they may be gone for a spell of time. Maybe five years, a dozen years, perhaps even a spell of one hundred years.

In my case, it was a spell of a dozen years. As Jamie put it, one minute I was there and the next, I was not. Eventually Wendy came to realize that I did not just leave her and little Jimmy. She learned that by studying the topic of Ghosts in the “book”.

And so, I went into hibernation, a deep sleep, and I had no idea what was going on. Instead for twelve years, I was living the dream.

If I went into all the details of the dream, it would take up all of the episodes of season 9. Instead, I will give just some of the highlights. Keep in mind that this is just a dream, but it is an explanation of where I was for all of 12 years. Also, keep in mind that I was completely oblivious of my waking life, so it cannot be said that I was knowingly cheating on my wife.

Now that I am awake and can think back on my dreamlife, it saddens and it shames me. When asked, I told Wendy that I did have a dream, but that I do not recall it. Now, I feel bad about having lied to her and I need to get this off my chest. Normally, I would not waste yours or my time telling the story of a dream that I had the night before.

Yet, in this case the night before was New Year’s Eve 1980 AS and this morning it is New Year’s Day 1992 AS. (For those of you are new to THOTB, AS stands for Anno Simulacra and it is something that I made up to mean “in the year of the Sims” and is meant to convey that this made-up reality takes place along a timeline that in no way reflects our reality.)

Twelve years have passed and I missed the entire decade of 1980s. Who was “Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch”? What is a koosh ball? and Who is Taylor Dayne? I am told that having slept through ’80s’ makes me the lucky one.

Although I do know who Robin Leach was because he visited us in the dream and we were in an episode of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

What happened was that one morning I woke in my home in San Berdoo on the outskirts of Angel City (only it was not called Angel City). Besides that, there was nothing weird about it and it all seemed normal to me…


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