The History of Twin Bayous: Hi! My name is Lori Clemens

Hi! My name is Lori Clemens and I am a student here at Lady Wendy’s School of the Mystical Sciences.

I and the other students are starting our ninth year at the school.

I am the daughter of Allen and Karen Clemens. Along with my brother Dmitri, we moved to Moonshine Falls from another town when I was a little girl. I hardly remember anything of that other town, but that’s okay because I really like it here in this town.

I always like to have a positive attitude and I guess that is why I was just elected class president. My mom says it was also because of my good looks and great hygiene. She says that ‘haters are gonna hate’ and that I should not ignore them, but rather I should lead by example. As far as my traits go: I am a virtuoso, a cat person, I am friendly and good. As I always say, ‘Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.’

Anyway, enough about me and let me explain what this is all about. One of my first duties as class president is to put together a presentation regarding our school and its students. When it is done, it is going to be shown on television here so that the entire town can learn about the school and all of the positive things that we are doing. Lady Wendy says that right now the people of Moonshine Falls have a negative view of the school, but that once they see that we are not weird or scary that they will change their minds about us. (Lady Wendy says that we will edit this later)

This is my brother, Dmitri Clemens. He is kind of weird and he’s into cosplay.

Some girls think he’s cute, but I wish he would cut his hair. He hates the outdoors. He is a couch potato, snob, and he can be a real diva at times.

I think there is something going on between him and Melody. I have not yet decided if I approve.

Melody Ringwald-Viernes goes around the house in her bra. She says that she dresses to be comfortable. I have let her know what I think of that, but she does not seem to care what I think.

She loves the outdoors and she is a childish, snobby, virtuoso.

However, I do think that she is very pretty and she has a much better attitude than her sister, Harmony.

Harmony Ringwald-Viernes is Melody’s sister and she has much different attitude than her sister.

She would rather be in military school. She thinks that she is a loser and a Kleptomaniac. There is a reason for this. She gets this bad attitude from her mother, Jaycee, who got it from her mother the Colonel.

But I see her as a genius and athletic. I do think that Harmony is very pretty like her sister and I also think that she is a winner. (and I tell her that all of time).

Now Joni Ringwald-Clemens is a different story. I don’t like her. She is the daughter of Tom & Danielle Ringwald-Clemens. As result, she comes from a broken home.

And, as a result, I feel badly for not liking Joni. She is a loner, brave, rebellious, inappropriate, heavy sleeper. Plus, she farts a lot. At least she does it outside while she is pretending to talk on the phone.

Lady Wendy says that we are not allowed to date townies. She told me that may change next year but for now it is a rule. However, I know that Joni has been seeing a townie boy named Chadrick Gentille.

Joni’s brother is Jack Ringwald-Clemens. He’s okay, I guess. He is a gatherer and an artistic, athletic, Snob.

He is always out gathering stuff. Sometimes he is out gathering good stuff. Other times he is out gathering trash.

His gathering activities includes gathering trashie townies like that awful Donna Gentille.

Joni and Jack are cousins of Moon-Unit and Dweezil Clemens-Stoney. Moon-Unit, or little Wendy as we sometimes call her, is a slobby, heavy sleeper who is also an equestrian.

The reason why we call her little Wendy is because she is a natural born witch.

Her mom is Rebecca Clemens.

Above all else, she is a good person and she is the nearest person I have to BFF and I call her Moo.

Moo’s brother is Dweezil Clemens-Stoney.

Dweezil loves the outdoors. He is a technophobe and is artistic. Also, I hear that he is a great kisser.

Actually I do know that for a fact he is a great kisser because I once kissed him when we were kids. I kinda liked him then because when were kids, I thought that I would marry him and that Moo would marry my brother. None of that stuff is close to happening because there is this other boy that I really like…

Lady Wendy’s son is also in our class. His full name is James Dawson-Dobbs, but we all know him as Jimmy Dobbs.

He is known as a perceptive, hydrophobic, eccentric, snob. A really quiet and shy young man.

He and I have been dating. When we met he seemed so sad and lonely. That night that we went out, I did think that he moved a little too fast, but I think that he’s much happier now after we woohoo’d that one time. (I am definitely going to have to edit this!)

Rumor has it that one of the boys in our school is dating that horrible townie girl, Coleen Clemens.

I do not want to believe that the boy is Jimmy, but if I find out that he is the one, people will not think of me as being nice anymore.

The only thing that I can think of that would be worse than Jimmy Dobbs dating that trashie townie Coleen Clemens would be if he was seeing that richie-rich townie Xena Ringwald.


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