THOTB-9.13

This History of Twin Bayous: The Plot Thickens

Early every Saturday and Sunday mornings, for two hours on each day, the local radio station, WSIM, in Moonshine Falls broadcasts a religious format program featuring the Reverend Gregg Gentille. The program is titled “Amazing Super-Duper Words of Wisdom” and it is sponsored by the Talking Ass Bookstore, which is Rev Gregg’s book shop in town.

Normally Reverend Gregg reads one of his sermons and then tells everyone what they should think and do, but on this particular day he was starting an all-out war on a local educational institution.

Reverend Gregg was starting his attack on Lady Wendy’s School of the Mystical Sciences.

In the halls of the school, the students were listening intently to the broadcast blaring from a radio somewhere in the house. The expressions on their faces were ones of concern.

As for Lady Wendy, she was holding back laughter as she quietly wondered to herself why, after all these years, was the Reverend for the first time using his platform to launch salvos at the school. “Sticks and stones,” she whispered, “sticks and stones.”

Lady Wendy may not have known why Reverend Greg was starting a war on the school, but there were some students in the school who knew just about everything.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Hi y’all, Lori Clemens here to wrap up my report on all that happened during this year’s Gathering Week. Mid-week there was some “excitement” involving one of the teachers and his “wife”, but since it had nothing to do whatsoever with me or my friends, I won’t tell you that story. (see episode 9.9).

The real excitement came on the weekend after Jack Ringwald-Clemens bragged to my BFF that after he asked me to go steady, and I said “maybe”…

…that he went behind my back and started dating that churchie townie, Dawn Gentille, daughter of the Reverend Gregg Gentille.

When I heard about that, I had to ask one question and that was: Is Jackie-boy really that stupid?

He has to know that Moo tells me everything and I the same to her. Also, he has to know that within seconds after Moo told me, that she, I, and Mel were starting to plot “our” revenge.

After breakfast, we all dressed, and after I gave Mel her morning watering,…

…the three of us piled into a cab and headed across the river…

…to the city library in town.

Seated at our regular table, I attempted to bring the meeting order, but we had to wait for Mel to “snap out of it”.

She was lost in lust, as she had spotted that dopey townie, Chadrick Gentille seated on the other side of the room.

I don’t know what she saw in that guy…

…other than blonde hair, blue eyes, and clear skin, he was, after all, dating Joni Ringwald-Clemens, Jack’s sister, and she’s a piece-of-work – a real mess, if you get my drift.

Anyway, Moo and I finally got Mel’s attention and we began our revenge planning session.

Moo had it all figured out: “All I need is for the two of you to lure Jack into place where I can get a clear shot at him and turn him into a toad.”

“The Curse of Toadification is kind of tricky to execute and it takes a lot of magickal energy. If I don’t get it right and it fails, I will have to wait a full day before I will be able to try again.”

“I need you guys to get Jack to stand still and y’all know he’s one of these fidgety types that just won’t sit still.”

Mel offered her thoughts on Jack Ringwald-Clemens: “Yeah, I hear that he’s one of these guys who when he woohoo’s – it’s like over in a matter of seconds.”

I looked at Mel and I said: “And now tell me, just how in the world do you know that?”

I didn’t wait for her answer. I got up and told her to come with me, because Mel and I were gonna go find Mr. Jackie-boy and get him in position for Moo to do her magickal stuff.

Meanwhile, I wanted Moo to rest quietly in the library so she would have plenty of magickal energy for when the moment came. We were going to call her when we had the boy cornered.

After Moo had finished her homework, she was kinda bored and didn’t feel like reading anything.

Moo was going to practice her magick, when over near one of the bookstacks, she spotted Donna Gentille – sister of Chadrick & Dawn and daughter of Rev. Gregg.

Moo had recently become friends with that awful townie and so she went over and started talking to Donna.

Moo asked Donna how things were going and Donna revealed that she had recently started dating a guy by the name of Anthony Goombah and how she really liked him, but that she wasn’t sure if he liked her.

Moo said: “Say no more. I have a remedy for that situation – it is called a love charm!”

And so, Moo cast a love charm for that awful townie girl.

Then Donna got all warm and fuzzy, she thanked Moo and that was the end of that story… You’d think!

Only seconds later, it was Moo’s turn to get all warm and fuzzy when Donna’s brother came over from across room to talk to Moo.

However, there was one little problem as Chad Gentille was not coming over to ask Moo out on a date or anything like that…

…He came over to yell at my BFF and call her names like “she-devil”, “jezebel”, and “demon from the depths of hell”.

Then he called her and her friends – meaning me and Mel – “losers” (!!!).

Then he pointed his finger at her and started spouting all sorts of religious crap about how we were all going to hell.

It was now Moo’s turn to respond and she did not know what in the heck to say other than: “Mister, you just made yourself a very powerful enemy!”

She told him that he might want to think about hiring some bodyguards, because he was going to need them.

She said that all she remembers from then is she glared at him really hard for what seemed like an eternity before he went away. She said that if she had had the energy she would have turned him into a toad right then and there, but she had spent her energy giving a GIFT to the boy’s sister.

Moo said that as she was leaving the library to head home, she saw that Donna was crying and bunch of townies were consoling her and saying terrible things about Moo.

Our revenge targets had just doubled to now include that horrible townie, Chadrick Gentille.

To be continued…

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