This History of Twin Bayous: These are the People in Your Neighborhood

For reasons unknown to Lady Wendy, the Reverend Gregg Gentille, owner of the Talking Ass Bookstore and a minister of a religion called “Churchianity”, had declared war on her and her school – our school, Lady Wendy’s School of Mystical Sciences.

Rev. Gregg’s problem really wasn’t with Lady Wendy, nor with her school. He was having problems at home and he needed to blame someone other than himself. He was only now finding out stuff that had been going on for some time.

Like for example, everyone in town knew that his wife, Vicki Gentille liked to hang-out and drink at the Red Velvet Lounge every afternoon before the kids got out of school.

The Red Velvet Lounge was a dive bar just across the river from the main part of town.

Or how about one of his twin daughters, Donna? She is dating Tony Goombah, the son of the local mafia kingpin…

…and there is a rumor that Donna might be pregnant.

I have told y’all before about how son Chadrick is dating a girl from our school. Well, guess what…

…we all learned just this morning that Moo’s cousin and Jack’s sister, Joni Ringwald-Clemens ran away from the school last night and…

…she and Chad have shacked-up at some cabin his family owns way over on the other side of town by the graveyard.

Then there is Donnie Gentille. He is really sweet, but I don’t think that daddy knows that Donnie would prefer to woohoo with boys that look like his brother, if you know what I mean.

Then there is Dawn Gentille, Donna’s twin sister. She is really strange – actually, in a sweet kinda way.

I’ve been calling her “churchie townie”, but I am not sure if I have been fair with her. She likes to talk to herself and she also talks to things or people that aren’t there.

She likes to hang out in the park at night and she does all that “talking” while she is there.

Rev Gregg wants to blame the school for all of his problems and for a second day in a row, his two hour broadcast was all about Lady Wendy and the school.

I could tell that this was really starting to upset Lady Wendy’s son, Jimmy. He was being really quiet… More than normal.

But Lady Wendy was a cool as a Georgia peach.

After we listened to Rev Gregg’s second sermon of hatred directed toward Lady Wendy and our school, she called us all into an assembly in the library. All this happened as soon we had gotten out bed and before we had a chance to dress and have our breakfast.

Everyone was getting real excited and some of us were standing up. Lady Wendy asked us all to please calm down and please take our seats.

She basically said to us that we had all heard what Rev Gregg said and we knew in our hearts that his sermons were nothing but lies. She considered it to be over and done.

She told us that “we are not going to respond to, nor will we retaliate against these attacks.” She said the matter was over and now we must start preparing for mid-terms.

I was very impressed by Lady Wendy’s speech. In fact, I am impressed by everything that woman says and does. When I grow up, I wanna be like her.

But my BFF, Moon-Unit (Moo) Clemens-Stoney just cannot let things go like I can…

When Lady Wendy finished, she asked if there were any questions…

…and when she did, up popped my dear friend, Moo…

At first Moo was kinda stuttering and mumbling. Lady Wendy asked her to speak up.

Then she stepped up to Lady Wendy and she asked: “Would it be okay if I were to turn Chadrick Gentille into a toad?”

There was no chance for discussion as Lady Wendy flat-out said “Absolutely not! No one will be turning anyone into a toad!”

Then she asked Moo: “Do you understand me?”

To which Moo tersely replied: “Yessum!”


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