THOTB-9.19

The History of Twin Bayous – The Dating Scene – Pt. 1

Hi y’all, Lori Clemens here with an update on what’s been happening here at the school and around town.

I heard that Lady Wendy and Mr. Dobbs are getting a divorce, but there was more important news in the past couple of days that kinda knocked that story off of the front page.

What was more important was that Mel and I both got asked out on dates by townies.

First off, Mel got asked out by this guy named Teddy Stoney. He’s okay, but…

…the problem wasn’t that he was kinda on the chunky-side, the problem is the reason why he asked Mel out on a date.

All the boy wanted to talk about was Melody’s sister, Harmony and he had the gall to ask Mel if she thought if he asked Harmony on a date would she go out with him.

What kinda loser wears sweat pants on date?

Mel was not at all happy about that disaster of a date. Being Mel, she didn’t say goodbye to Teddy, she told the guy to “get the frick outta my face! Butterball!”

Then she found a bunch of pink flamingos stuck in the ground between the concession booths and…

…she proceeded to stomp the crap outta them.

My date with a townie was not as bad as Mel’s was. It wasn’t great… it wasn’t bad… it was kinda weird.

I got asked out by Tony Goombah, the guy who is supposedly dating Donna Gentille and according to a rumor that I started, he got her pregnant.

Yet it turns out that the reason that he asked me out was strictly business. He wanted me to help him break into the big three-story office building over on the corner of Main and Chicory.

At first, I told him ‘No’ and that I was ‘not that kind of a girl’.

Then he said that he would pay me 20 simoleons and I all had to do was to be his look-out and cast some kinda spell on whoever showed up. He said that Rev Gentille was black-mailing his dad and he said that instead of burning down the building, he wanted to just steal whatever it was Gentille had on his dad.

I told him to pay me the 20 up-front and that he would get the best fairy job ever.

After he paid me, I started off by casting a ‘Shadow Thief’ spell that made him invisible to everyone and everything. Invisible, that is except to me and anyone who is reading this story.

Once that was done, Tony said that he needed me to help him break into the building.

I said “Great! Let’s go!” and we headed across the street to the office building.

Breaking in was easy. The outer doors were unlocked and we didn’t need a key for the elevators.

I didn’t think about it until we exited the elevators, but even though Tony was invisible, he was casting a strange glow and I am pretty sure that the glow could be seen by anyone looking up at the windows. Oh well, whatta you gonna do?

Our target was the part of the building where Rev Gregg Gentille broadcasted his radio program on the weekends.

While Tony looked around for any place where the Rev Gentille kept files or a computer, I decided that it would be fun to play around with the expensive broadcasting equipment.

I think that I got it working, because a sign came on saying ‘on-the-air’.

This may sound really stupid, but I actually could not think of anything to say. So, what I did was start singing a song.

I really like Blondie. So, I starting singing “I am War Child” over and over again.

That is when Tony came over said: “Hey blondie! What the frick are you doing? You wanna get us caught?”

Then he apologized and said that he found what he was looking for and said that we should probably leave now.

Then he said to me: “Can you do me one more favor? The sun is coming up and I’d like you watch the sunrise with me. It is a thing that I like to do when a job goes well.”

He seemed nice and since this sounded like a chance for me to make Donna Gentille jealous, I accepted the offer to watch the sunrise with him.

We went over to the empty lot next door to the office building and we sat down on the wet grass.

We just sat there quietly watching the sunrise. I want to say that something happened, but it didn’t. We just talked about how nice and quiet it is this time of the day.

As soon as the sun rose, we both stood up and Tony left after he thanked me for helping him.

I started to leave also, but then I turned around and I saw that there was this strange totem pole sticking up out of the ground in the lot behind the office building. I had never seen it before and I pass by this way all the time. So, I had to go over and check it out.

I flew over to the totem pole and as I got closer, I could hear that it was calling to me.

This may sound really weird, because it wasn’t exactly talking to me in a voice that my ears could hear. It was talking to me in a voice that I was hearing deep within my soul.

It was telling me that it needed some “fairy luvin'” and somehow I “knew” exactly what that meant.

So, I started channeling “good thoughts” towards the totem pole.

The totem pole’s expression was static, but as I channeled “good thoughts” at it, I could “hear” it saying: “Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. That’s the spot. Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”

Suddenly the totem pole’s eyes became as big as saucers and bolts of blue electricity was jumping off from its skin.

And guess what? Y’all gonna have to wait for the next episode to find out what happened after it started to shake in an almost violent manner.

For more reading fun, be sure to check out
the complete The History of Twin Bayous (THOTB) episode listing,
plus episodes of the ever popular The Bloodsucker’s Journals (TBJ)

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